So… the salary question. Let’s talk about it.
If you’ve ever had a recruiter ask about your salary expectations and suddenly your soul left your body, this one’s for you.
The panic isn’t a “you” problem.
And from years inside HR, here’s the truth:
Most women are not underpaid because they’re “too shy.”
They get underpaid because nobody ever showed them how to answer the question that sets the entire tone of the offer.
First truth: you are allowed to ask for their range first
Recruiter: “So…what are your salary expectations?”
You: “That’s something I also wanted to ask. What range are you working with?”
This isn’t’ rude. This isn’t “pushy.” This is alignment.
And yes, women hesitate to do this way more than men.
I watched it happen every single week.
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Second truth: recruiters sometimes don’t know the exact number yet, so if they hesitate it’s not about you
Here’s what it looks like behind the scenes:
Budgets changing. Hiring managers disagreeing. Job opened yesterday. Leadership not aligned. Spreadsheet chaos.
When they hesitate, it is NOT a sign you asked something wrong. It’s usually a sign that they don’t have an exact number yet.
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So here’s what you do before the call
Search the job title in your city. Check the job ad in case the range is hidden somewhere. Google the company. Ask ChatGPT if you want a rough benchmark.
Pick three numbers:
the lowest you’d actually accept
the number you want
the “I would happily sign today” number
You won’t say all three.
You pick them so fear stops making the decisions for you.
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If they they insist you go first
Use this:
“Based on my research and the responsibilities of the role, I’m targeting a range of X to Z depending on the overall package and benefits.”
Short. Calm. No essays.
No apologising. No “only if that’s okay with you…”
And when their range is lower than yours
You do not need to pretend it is fine. You can say:
“Thank you for sharing. That is a bit below what I am targeting.
For my experience and the responsibilities we discussed, I am looking closer to X.
Is there any flexibility at the top of your range or in the full package?”
If they cannot move at all, that is useful information. You just learned how they value the role.
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A note on who you should not negotiate with
Hiring managers. Team leads. Random people in the interview loop.
Not because they’re against you, but because they just don’t handle budgets.
Stick with the recruiter or HR. They’re the ones who actually know the numbers.
Big Sister Note
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop assuming you’re lucky to be considered.
If you’re interviewing, you’re already strong enough to be there.
Ask for the range. Say your number out loud. Let people respond to your reality, not your fear.
You’re not “too much” for wanting fair pay. You’re a woman in 2025 trying to afford her life.
And I promise you, once you learn how to navigate salary talks, you’ll never go back to whispering your worth.
If this made something click for you, I’m glad you’re here.
I’m building this for you sis and we are just getting started.