Tell me about yourself. The question that makes your brain do the Windows error sound
If you freeze when someone says “Tell me about yourself” you’re not alone.
Women worry about sounding arrogant, boring, oversharing, undersharing, or picking the wrong place to start.
And somehow a simple question becomes an existential crisis.
But the problem isn’t you.
It’s that nobody ever shows us how to tell our story in a way that feels honest and confident at the same time.
First truth: this question is not about your life story
When an interviewer says “Tell me about yourself” they’re not asking for your childhood, your full CV or a play-by-play of every role you’ve ever had.
They’re also not testing your memory.
What they’re really asking is much simpler: why are you here, and why should we keep listening?
From the hiring side, this question helps us understand how you see yourself. What you choose to highlight. Whether you understand the role you’re interviewing for. And whether you can connect your experience to what actually matters.
This isn’t about bragging or finding the “perfect” answer. It’s about clarity, confidence, and positioning yourself as a strong fit.
And yes, women tend to overthink this question far more than they need to.
I’ve seen it happen again and again.
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Second truth: women answer this question more carefully than necessary
When women answer “Tell me about yourself” the instinct is usually to be thoughtful.
We add context. We explain. We soften.
That instinct isn’t a flaw. It comes from wanting to be accurate, considerate, and fair.
But here’s the shift that matters: this question doesn’t reward likability.
It rewards clarity. And clarity is what makes interviewers remember you. It’s what makes your story stick.
And it’s what gets you to the next round.
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So here’s what to do
Stop treating “Tell me about yourself” as an open-ended question. It isn’t.
Think of it as a one-minute positioning statement.
And please don’t try to memorize it word for word or read it off notes during the call. We can tell. It usually makes you sound less confident, not more.
Instead, know the structure so well that it feels natural.
Use this every time:
who you are professionally right now
what you do well
what you’re looking for next and why this role fits
That’s it. No childhood. No apologies. No detours.
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Here’s what that actually sounds like
Instead of saying:
“I studied X, then I did a bit of this, then I helped with that, and I’m still figuring things out.”
Try this (60-second version):
“I have a few years of experience working in (field), mainly focused on (core area of work). I started in a more hands-on role where I worked on (key responsibilities), which helped me build strong skills in (relevant skills).
Over time, I took on more ownership in (next level of responsibility or focus), working closely with (teams or certain stakeholders) to (impact you had). Most recently, I worked in (type of environment), which strengthened my ability to (transferable skills).
I’m now looking for a role where I can (what you want to do next) and this position stood out because (why this role and company fits you.)”
Same background. Same experience. Just clearer, more confident and easier for the interviewer to follow.
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A quick note on what not to do
Keep it focused.
You don’t need turn this into a life timeline where you talk for five minutes straight and the recruiter has to interrupt you to get things back on track.
Share what’s relevant, skip the justifications, and trust that if something matters, they’ll ask.
And let me tell you this from the hiring side: when you interview twenty people for the same role, most answers blur together.
What stands out is not more detail. It’s a clear story.
When you lead with focus and relevance, you give interviewers something to remember you by.
And that’s what moves you forward.
Big Sister Note
You are not too much for speaking clearly about yourself.
You are not arrogant for leading with your strengths.
And you are not required to earn the right to sound confident.
“Tell me about yourself” is not a test of humility. It’s a chance to set the tone.
Say it like you belong in the room. BECAUSE YOU DO.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I wish you talked about X next” reply and tell me what X is. That’s genuinely how I decide what to write about.
You can reply directly to this email or message me on Substack. I read every one. ✨