The most qualified candidate doesn’t always get the job

Why trying your best isn’t enough and what to do instead

After being on the other side of the table, I had another slightly uncomfortable realization.

I used to believe that if you prepared well and showed up trying your best, interview outcomes would reflect that.

Well… that’s not really how it works.

Have you ever hung up a call already picturing yourself in the role? Mentally negotiating the salary. Planning how you’ll ask for more time because you’re in other processes too.

And then the next day? “Thank you so much for your time, but we’ve decided to move forward with another candidate”.

I’ve watched strong candidates not move forward because they didn’t fully understand what interviews are actually testing.

And yes, there’s more to it than just spending hours preparing.

So if I had to approach interviews again, I wouldn’t just try harder. I’d prepare differently.

And if you’re in interview stages right now, this is the part most candidates never get told.

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If I could redo interviews from scratch, this is how I’d do it

The first thing I would lock in is my introduction.

I didn’t realize how much the first few minutes matter until I was sitting on the other side watching it happen in real time.

By the time you join the call, interviewers have already spoken to a handful of solid candidates. You’re not the only person they liked on paper and opinions start forming faster than you think.

I’ve seen really capable candidates stumble in the first few minutes just because nerves kicked in.

So? I’d walk in with a clear intro prepared for every role.

I wouldn’t memorize it word for word and I definitely wouldn’t read it off my notes and sound robotic.

Just structured enough that when nerves hit, I don’t start talking in circles and stress myself out even more.

Those first few minutes don’t decide everything, but they absolutely set the tone.

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The next thing I would change is how I handle silence.

I didn’t realize how much over-talking hurts until I was sitting on the other side.

When you’re in the interview, it’s easy to feel like you need to keep talking.

So you add more. One more example. One more explanation. One more detail.

But from the other side, that doesn’t always land the way you think it does.

I’ve seen answers lose their point simply because someone kept going. I’ve done it myself.

me realizing I should have stopped three sentences ago

And once it happens, it’s hard to mentally pull it back.

So now? I’d answer the question and stop.

Let it land. Let the interviewer decide what they want to explore next.

It might feel awkward, yes. But I wouldn’t add more just because the silence feels uncomfortable.

Clear answer. Pause.

That pause usually lands better than adding five extra sentences.

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Another thing I would prepare differently is how I handle questions under pressure.

When something unexpected comes up, it’s easy to panic and start talking your way through it.

Especially when you’re already stressed. But you don’t have to rush.

You can say, “That’s a great question. Let me think about that for a moment”.

You can take a sip of water.

No one is judging you for taking a breath before answering.

They’re not timing you. Interviews mess with your nerves.

Sometimes your better answer comes after that first wave of panic passes.

It’s also completely fine to say, “Going back to your earlier question about X, I thought about it a bit more and I’d like to add this”.

And no, it doesn’t weaken your answer. It shows you’re actually thinking.

Thinking clearly is stronger than reacting quickly.

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Another thing I would change is this: I’d stop saving my energy for the “perfect” job.

I used to think interviews were only worth it if I was genuinely excited about the role. If I didn’t love it, why prepare like crazy?

Now? I’d take the interview anyway and prepare like it is my dream job.

You don’t get good at interviews by waiting for your dream job. You get good by doing interviews.

Your first few will feel awkward, you’ll talk too fast, you’ll hang up and replay the conversation thinking of better answers.

That’s normal. Interviews are reps.

You don’t walk into the gym and lift 100kg on day one. You build up. Same thing here.

The more interviews you do, the more confident you become.

And confidence shows up in small ways, in your tone, your pacing, how quickly you answer.

When you sound confident, you start to feel like the obvious choice.

That’s what usually keeps you in the process.

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The last thing I would prepare differently is my examples.

The moment you say something like “I improved the process” or “I led a project”, you can almost predict what’s coming next:

How? When? What did you actually do? What changed because of you?

That’s when things get real.

I’ve seen strong candidates stumble right there. Because their examples feel too vague or too “high level”.

You say you led something, but no one can really tell what you actually did.

And that’s when someone jumps in with, “Can you walk us through that?”

So I’d walk in with a few specific stories ready.

I wouldn’t have them memorized, just clear in my head:

What was the situation. What I personally handled. What changed.

When an example is specific, no one has to guess what you did.

It just makes sense.

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Big sister note

Before I sat in hiring rooms, I genuinely thought interviews were about doing your best and hoping it showed, but that’s only part of it.

No one tells you how much those first few minutes matter, or that talking longer doesn’t always help. Or that broad answers make it harder for people to trust what you’re saying.

You’re told to “be confident” and “just be yourself”, but no one explains how fast people make up their minds.

It’s not always fair, but it’s usually predictable.

Once you understand how it really works, you stop walking in hoping it goes well.

You walk in knowing what to do.✨

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If this brought something up for you, you can reply directly to this email or message me on Substack and tell me what you’re thinking. I read every one. ✨

Letters drop every Tuesday. 💌